What is Your Love Language?

I often refer people to Dr. Gary Chapman's books (especially the Five Love Languages) to find out what their love language is. It's been useful for couples and for parents to know what their language is and that of their spouse and children. I had a light bulb moment when I was discussing the book with a client.

I was sharing that I had had a difficult road block with an individual who was involved in a business relationship with my husband and I. This individual was really pushing an agenda that was exceptionally aggressive (especially in light of my husband just having lost his mom) and it was difficult to communicate due to their schedule and ours but also due to the fact that conversation was challenging. We could not communicate effectively and we were always feeling 'spoken to' and not heard. We were asking for the person to be 'present' and truly 'hear' and not just listen while multi- tasking or preparing a response before we were able to present our position clearly.

It dawned on me that the Love Languages apply not only to couples and children but to anyone in relationship of any kind. My husband and I started to re-think how to effectively get our message across in a polite way and present our position and needs.

My language is quality time and nothing insults folks similar to me like not being listened to - it cuts like a knife. I started to contemplate what the other person's language might be and it dawned on me that this is important information for everyone to know. We are all trying to achieve common goals at times and if we knew how to communicate to one another in a way that we could be heard, wow, what a difference it would be.

Most of communication lies in listening. We are so caught up in multi-tasking that we fail to be truly present to one another. We may listen but we don't necessarily hear the content. I encourage you to take the assessment online and encourage your partner, children and friends to do the same and share your results (www.5lovelanguages.com).

Do yourself and everyone a favor this week...be present.

Have a great week!

-Andrea