I have never been around a family like my husband's. He has an older brother and a younger sister, both of whom are married and have children. They have never said a cross word to one another or about one another in my presence and in fact defend one another to the core.
It has been very humbling and an honor to witness their ways of dealing with the loss of their mom, the true matriarch of their family. She was a strong woman who had a very strong hold on the family and was at times very opinionated on affairs that were not of her concern, but that she voiced anyway. Even under these circumstances, they loved her and respected her.
Her passing, although difficult, was a tribute to this woman who produced such amazing children. They have respected one another so kindly and gently throughout her illness, in preparing for her death and in addressing the administrative demands after her death. This weekend we all came together to help with clearing out her home. When there were items that they each wanted, they promised to mark them down and discuss how to address them fairly. There was no arguing, no vying for possessions and no resentment. At times they yielded to the other and promised to borrow an item if they needed to from the other sibling to whom they yielded. They included spouses and encouraged our participation and were open to our thoughts and input.
It was amazing to witness such peace and kindness and an honor to call them each family. I am especially proud of my husband who is not a fan of parting with things. He did not seek to 'save it all' and have items retreat to storage to never be used just because there were things he might like to use some day.
It was a lesson in humility and one I hope to never forget. In was interesting to see no matter how much we accumulate, in the end, it still doesn't matter. I am hoping to keep it simple from now going forward. Thanks Paul, Carl and Michelle and Ellen and Rick.
Warmly,
Andrea
Sunday, February 13, 2011
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