Are you a Peace Maker, Faker or Breaker?

I was talking with a respected colleague a few weeks ago and she introduced me to this philosophy of being a peace maker, faker or breaker. We were talking about dynamics where a whole system can turn against an individual who stands their ground with strong boundaries. I brought up the fact that peace at all cost is not peace. Unless we are willing to recognize a conflict, communicate about it and acknowledge it and work through it and resolve it, any other approach falls under peace breaking or faking, although they too can be differentiated.

We all have been peace breakers - where we have fallen short of recognizing and promoting peace with genuine intention. This is when we have chosen to stay angry or to do everything except promote the peace. We're all guilty at some point of this. I think any one of us can recall a time when we fell under this umbrella. It's when we learn a different, better way, that we can approach peace as we should.

Peace faking really gets under my skin. My training encourages me to address things and I am getting used to teaching people to do this in their personal lives. Since I am responsible for teaching them this, I try to model it. Although it's difficult and there are several personal scenarios that I can recall that even though I have tried, peace did not result in the situation, I still try to pursue it to model it. It's when folks just want peace no matter what - when they are uncomfortable with someone else's being upset and they want you to just swallow it because of their discomfort, that's the essence of peace faking. I call this peace at all costs. This is not peace. In this case you have to turn it over and rest knowing you tried, even though you may not have been successful.

I am sure if you look around you, you will be able to find all kinds of peace makers, fakers and breakers, you'll be more aware of them now. We can't really contribute to true peace without faith but promise me you won't settle for being a faker. If you're a habitual breaker, there's hope! Start getting real and raise your standards. There's not enough peacemakers out there. We need more in our neighborhoods, schools, work places and country. Help spread the contagion!

Make it a peaceful week!

-Andrea