Sunday, August 8, 2010

Being Complete…..surrendering….

I seem to be hearing more and more stories of people having serious, terminal illnesses and have also been in touch with friends who are still recovering from the death of a spouse due to serious illness. It really reminds me of how fleeting this life is for all of us. All the more reason we need to be complete with one another.

Years ago I attended the Grief Recovery Institute. It was there, after enduring several losses in a brief amount of time, that I learned one of the greatest lessons of my life to date. Loss can be identified in so many ways, not just via death. It can look different for everyone yet we have no appropriate/accurate language that we can offer someone who is grieving. Losses of relationships, jobs, miscarriages, moving, what could have been, these are all grief events.

My biggest take away from this experience was learning to surrender the hurt especially when you are not able to get closure with it. This is most difficult. I am a communicator. I like to be sure I am on good terms with people. If I experience a misunderstanding, I will go to the person and try my hardest to make it right. When I am not able and the situation no longer allows it, I rest knowing I have given my best effort and that I will have to let the situation be. In this I learned that we need to be complete with one another. My work as a crisis counselor is an ever clear reminder that tragedy does not discriminate. It is a reminder every day to try to leave nothing unsaid. I try to give out all of my compliments daily and mend anything with everyone. Am I always successful? No. But in reality, in the big picture, is what we are holding on to so important that if the person we are in conflict with were taken from us, we’d feel ok with the terms on which we left?

This week review your relationships. Pick up the phone if you need to and surrender your pride. You’ll feel lighter the rest of the day!!

Peace,
-Andrea

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