Perspectives....

I've had some great discussions this week about perspectives. If we listen to our head we can create a totally different reality if we're willing to listen. A friend of mine e-mailed me a thought provoking, funny story about the way she reviewed a situation versus how a dear friend may have viewed it.

The story was around a day out at the movies with her 3 small children. The youngest, 2 is not quite at movie age but she was going to give it a go. Despite several challenges (forgetting her wallet, several trips to the potty and the two year old having a blow out of her diaper AND getting her unexpected monthly visit from Mother Nature and not being prepared)she made it through the whole movie and headed home thinking...'that went well. We made it through the movie, the kids enjoyed it and hey, we're on our way home'.

She had a visit from a friend who was expressing concern about her husband's upcoming business travel that would have him away from home for a longer time than she was used to and she had limited resources. She asked my friend how she managed the kids' behavior in public and expressed having increased anxiety at having to do it without her husband on whom she was very dependent. My friend explained how she tells the kids what to expect as far as behavior, what's on the agenda and being firm about discipline and following through. Her day at the movies was a zoo but reviewing it further, it was just a typical day out. Often times we view situations based on our own experience and draw incorrect conclusions. My friend wasn't claiming to be a parenting expert, she was just managing how she could. Her friend often admired her for being able to juggle the many challenges that accompany parenthood so well. My friend wasn't indicating that the outing was easy, but in her mind, it was successful - she made it through the movie.

It's funny, we can be in the same situation and everyone will draw their own conclusions about it based on their own perspectives (or past hurts/history) and may or may not draw the same conclusions or even the correct ones.

Comparisons are tricky. Before drawing an incorrect conclusion, check in with yourself and see if your reaction is rational, check your data and get feedback from an objective party if necessary. What you see is not always what is valid. Most of all, be kind to yourself.

Have a great week!

~Andrea