Sunday, July 25, 2010

Perspectives....

I've had some great discussions this week about perspectives. If we listen to our head we can create a totally different reality if we're willing to listen. A friend of mine e-mailed me a thought provoking, funny story about the way she reviewed a situation versus how a dear friend may have viewed it.

The story was around a day out at the movies with her 3 small children. The youngest, 2 is not quite at movie age but she was going to give it a go. Despite several challenges (forgetting her wallet, several trips to the potty and the two year old having a blow out of her diaper AND getting her unexpected monthly visit from Mother Nature and not being prepared)she made it through the whole movie and headed home thinking...'that went well. We made it through the movie, the kids enjoyed it and hey, we're on our way home'.

She had a visit from a friend who was expressing concern about her husband's upcoming business travel that would have him away from home for a longer time than she was used to and she had limited resources. She asked my friend how she managed the kids' behavior in public and expressed having increased anxiety at having to do it without her husband on whom she was very dependent. My friend explained how she tells the kids what to expect as far as behavior, what's on the agenda and being firm about discipline and following through. Her day at the movies was a zoo but reviewing it further, it was just a typical day out. Often times we view situations based on our own experience and draw incorrect conclusions. My friend wasn't claiming to be a parenting expert, she was just managing how she could. Her friend often admired her for being able to juggle the many challenges that accompany parenthood so well. My friend wasn't indicating that the outing was easy, but in her mind, it was successful - she made it through the movie.

It's funny, we can be in the same situation and everyone will draw their own conclusions about it based on their own perspectives (or past hurts/history) and may or may not draw the same conclusions or even the correct ones.

Comparisons are tricky. Before drawing an incorrect conclusion, check in with yourself and see if your reaction is rational, check your data and get feedback from an objective party if necessary. What you see is not always what is valid. Most of all, be kind to yourself.

Have a great week!

~Andrea

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Creating your legacy

Each day we create a piece of our legacy. We make lists, plans, goals and celebrate achievements already attained. What do our lists look like? What do they say about our legacy? What kind of mark do we want to leave on our families, our work place, our faith communities?

What's the mark you are currently making and do your lists, goals and plans come in line with the impact you want to make? This week do a quick review. There's no time like the present!

Be well,
Andrea

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Moving Forward

I am actually late for the first time in making my weekly post. I have two sick children who have demanded my attention and my awakeness, so sleep and blogging had to be delayed!

Moving forward keeps coming to mind for me this week. I am working myself on some personal transformations and I am a big fan of evaluating my life and my relationships based on my goals and quality of life that reflect my core values. It's interesting to take a snapshot of my life now and compare it to some from even 5, 10 or more years ago. My priorities have changed dramatically for developmental reasons but also assuredly for wanting to create a life reflecting my values.

I have had some great opportunities to connect with a few wonderful friends from my past recently. Some have remained in my life just in a more limited way and others, well hey it was just fantastic to reminisce about some silliness and even challenges we shared back in the day. We may not be as much a part of each other's lives in the present, but at a time we were.

I couldn't help but smile for having had these great interactions and also reflect on my life then and now. I remember when I was a kid a friend of mine's mom had a quote in her kitchen that read make new friends, the old ones keep as silver the new ones as gold. I never understood that quote and am still sorting it out. I think in discerning more about it we relish all of our friends but the ones in our present we focus on more because of several factors: proximity, things in common, our values etc. The others may not be a part of our daily lives but they helped us in our journey to the present. As we continue to evolve and be clear about who we are and get comfortable in our skin, we can continue to evolve and seek out those who truly reflect our core and who can challenge us in the ways we most need - socially, emotionally and spiritually.

This week's challenge:
Take stock of your core values and identify 5
Evaluate your relationships and even the work you do and see if they reflect your core values and think about making any adjustments if necessary.

Warmly,
Andrea

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Back to basics...good old fashioned fun

Happy 4th of July! Thanks to all of those serving abroad and their families and to those who have served in the past. We enjoy so many blessings because of your sacrifice.

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The past week has been a celebration of birthdays, fun at the beach and barbecues. There is one good thing about these economic times. It seems to bring everyone around to being more content with less.
We enjoyed simple, last minute no hassle gatherings with family and friends and braved the traffic headed to the beach. At first we thought we were crazy to travel on a holiday weekend but we enjoyed just being together making memories and singing to the songs on the radio while waiting out the traffic.

Elaborate budgets aren't needed to just be together. I am a firm believer in quality versus quantity. Truly being present to one another is priceless. It's a challenge with so many distractions but if you peel the onion back, if you cover the basics only, you will have accomplished all you need to.

This week take time to reflect on your calendar and consider what are the musts and consider scaling back. When you take some time to nurture your spirit, you will actually accomplish more with less and more easily. Most importantly, there will be more room in your schedule for some plain old fun!

Enjoy!
Warmly,
Andrea