The madness has officially launched. Black Friday saw record crowds, traffic has picked up and people are driving like maniacs! It makes me want to retreat even more and relish the innocence and peace that the season intends. I will take out of the way back roads so I am not frustrated by crazy drivers, I will avoid the malls and strive to truly manage what I need to accomplish but I will most importantly, prioritize and pick and choose what commitments I will make to holiday gatherings. I will carefully consider what is best for myself and my children and family versus over-committing and having unrealistic expectations for my children to adapt. We can't do it all, so it will be my job to help to trim the list of to do's.
What will you do to prepare for the holidays? I challenge you to ask yourself (before making any commitment to anyone) is this activity, request, gathering, event an absolute yes and a family centered activity for my family or should I pass? Trust me, if it's not an absolute yes, it's a no.
Do yourself a favor. Be kind to your fellow shoppers and especially to your retail employees. Be patient, let others go before you, play some Christmas music and be festive. It only takes one to start a ripple effect!
Make it a great week!
Deck those halls!
Warmly,
Andrea
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Thanksgiving.....
My favorite holiday and weekend has come and gone already. I love,love,love thanksgiving. The meal is wonderful to spend together with family and it's nice to have extended time to visit longer with more friends and family if we so choose. I find myself so grateful for my husband and children. I take great solace in Maryland's Eastern Shore and pinch myself to know we live here. It is not a hardship and has such a small town innocence. I am also thankful to be in the company of people who enjoy my family and I and are as eager as we are to share time with them. These, my dear ones, are part of my family of creation.
The fact that Thanksgiving comes without the stress of Christmas (because we as a culture, lack the full intention of it,) makes it more relaxed. Just being present - truly present to one another is the gift we give and receive. Sometimes we're successful, sometimes not so much.
In order to prepare for the Christmas season, I challenge you to put a new spin on your regular holiday preparations in order to bring back the true meaning of them. Maybe you could add some acts of service, truly reach out to someone in need with the full intention of the season in mind. Maybe try to resolve a conflict or just spend a little little time with someone who really misses your visits. There is no need to make your intentions public, but keep your challenge private and take action on it. If we collectively cut back on the greed one person at a time and reach into our hearts to take time and share our personal gifts and talents with one another, what a difference a day - Christmas Day - could make not only in our hearts and homes but in our world. This year make your preparations by opening your hearts.
I am grateful you stopped by and hope you will join me on Fridays at 11 am starting on December 10 by tuning into WCTR, 1530 am for my new talk show. Feel free to join me for topics about family, relationships and more.
Be well...
Warmly,
Andrea
The fact that Thanksgiving comes without the stress of Christmas (because we as a culture, lack the full intention of it,) makes it more relaxed. Just being present - truly present to one another is the gift we give and receive. Sometimes we're successful, sometimes not so much.
In order to prepare for the Christmas season, I challenge you to put a new spin on your regular holiday preparations in order to bring back the true meaning of them. Maybe you could add some acts of service, truly reach out to someone in need with the full intention of the season in mind. Maybe try to resolve a conflict or just spend a little little time with someone who really misses your visits. There is no need to make your intentions public, but keep your challenge private and take action on it. If we collectively cut back on the greed one person at a time and reach into our hearts to take time and share our personal gifts and talents with one another, what a difference a day - Christmas Day - could make not only in our hearts and homes but in our world. This year make your preparations by opening your hearts.
I am grateful you stopped by and hope you will join me on Fridays at 11 am starting on December 10 by tuning into WCTR, 1530 am for my new talk show. Feel free to join me for topics about family, relationships and more.
Be well...
Warmly,
Andrea
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Soulful Laughter....
I had a great opportunity to connect with some friends this weekend. We were friends from childhood but no longer live in the same area. I talked my sister into joining me and making the trip to our home town to meet us as well. What resulted was an evening of spontaneous laughter that had us all wiping our eyes from the crying and holding our sides from splitting. I haven't laughed that hard in a long while. It was a prelude to the evening where later I was to attend another friend's birthday gathering. That, too was incredibly special. I was able to share time with my very dear friend, her very funny husband and some of her good friends and felt right at home singing, dancing and reminiscing.
Today, when I returned home to my husband and sons, I felt a spring in my step for having been rejuvenated. It was good for my soul to be in such great company, share some great memories and celebrate the milestones we've achieved. I missed my husband and sons but it was nice to get a glimpse of the old me as well. She needs to get out once in a while so that she can recharge the now me to be what I need to be for my family.
It's important to honor your needs in this way. Laughter is curative and everyone around you benefits. It's contagious!
This week, try to connect with someone you haven't had the opportunity to see in a while and schedule time on your calendar before the holidays descend upon us or incorporate them into your holiday plans. Your soul will appreciate it and so will you and everyone else!
Have a great week!!
~Andrea
Today, when I returned home to my husband and sons, I felt a spring in my step for having been rejuvenated. It was good for my soul to be in such great company, share some great memories and celebrate the milestones we've achieved. I missed my husband and sons but it was nice to get a glimpse of the old me as well. She needs to get out once in a while so that she can recharge the now me to be what I need to be for my family.
It's important to honor your needs in this way. Laughter is curative and everyone around you benefits. It's contagious!
This week, try to connect with someone you haven't had the opportunity to see in a while and schedule time on your calendar before the holidays descend upon us or incorporate them into your holiday plans. Your soul will appreciate it and so will you and everyone else!
Have a great week!!
~Andrea
Sunday, November 7, 2010
What kind of life will you author?
I have been having some interesting talks with some folks lately about goals and strategizing. We have been talking about really getting in touch with yourself, your dreams, goals and essentially creating a vision.
Unless we are clear about where we want to go and create a map to get there, we kind of wander aimlessly. We become interested in many things and may even believe we can achieve them all without really sitting down to carve out the steps to achieve them.
If you're single and wanting to be in a relationship, what is it you want in a relationship? If you're in a geographic location not to your liking, what does your ideal one look like? What is your ideal job? Are you physically inactive but want to be fit? What kind of exercise do you like? What is the state of your family life and how does that look against what you want for your family?
The most important thing to remember about authoring a life is that you need to take time to write down your goals, you need to commit to them and you need to spend time.
This week I challenge you to look at all of the areas in your life and start to create a road map. Write down specific goals and dates for achievement. You don't need to complete it this week, just start it and continue to work on it with dedication in order to execute. We're all amazing writers of our own destiny!
Have a great week!
~Andrea
Unless we are clear about where we want to go and create a map to get there, we kind of wander aimlessly. We become interested in many things and may even believe we can achieve them all without really sitting down to carve out the steps to achieve them.
If you're single and wanting to be in a relationship, what is it you want in a relationship? If you're in a geographic location not to your liking, what does your ideal one look like? What is your ideal job? Are you physically inactive but want to be fit? What kind of exercise do you like? What is the state of your family life and how does that look against what you want for your family?
The most important thing to remember about authoring a life is that you need to take time to write down your goals, you need to commit to them and you need to spend time.
This week I challenge you to look at all of the areas in your life and start to create a road map. Write down specific goals and dates for achievement. You don't need to complete it this week, just start it and continue to work on it with dedication in order to execute. We're all amazing writers of our own destiny!
Have a great week!
~Andrea
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Living In Between....
Living in between is a theme that keeps coming up this week. There's no wonder they call kids 10-12 'tweens. They're not little and they're not teens. They're stuck in between. Our culture doesn't accept childlike behavior but doesn't give them the privileges of teenagers. It's a hard stage and I never hear anyone saying they want to go back to middle school!
Development across the lifespan finds us often living in between for developmental reasons but in reality, it's also a reflection of attitude. We get stuck in deciding to stay home with the kids or to work, to stay married or separate, to change jobs or stay in the same one out of fear.
All of the above comes down to deciding. While we are taking the time wanting things the way we think they should be, we are resentful, even angry about our current circumstance. Think of all of the life 'in between' that we are missing out on living! The key to getting out of in between is to decide to accept where we are and enjoy the perks of just being content. When we project what we think should be or what we want versus just working with where we are, a lot of living can start.
This week, lose the in between attitude. Decide if you're home with your children to be present to them or go back to work. If you're unhappy at a job, take a step. If your marriage or relationship is at a stalemate, what action will you take to feel empowered to move it forward? Most of all, be gentle with yourself and the process. Living in the present is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Enjoy!
Have a great week!
Warmly,
Andrea
Development across the lifespan finds us often living in between for developmental reasons but in reality, it's also a reflection of attitude. We get stuck in deciding to stay home with the kids or to work, to stay married or separate, to change jobs or stay in the same one out of fear.
All of the above comes down to deciding. While we are taking the time wanting things the way we think they should be, we are resentful, even angry about our current circumstance. Think of all of the life 'in between' that we are missing out on living! The key to getting out of in between is to decide to accept where we are and enjoy the perks of just being content. When we project what we think should be or what we want versus just working with where we are, a lot of living can start.
This week, lose the in between attitude. Decide if you're home with your children to be present to them or go back to work. If you're unhappy at a job, take a step. If your marriage or relationship is at a stalemate, what action will you take to feel empowered to move it forward? Most of all, be gentle with yourself and the process. Living in the present is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Enjoy!
Have a great week!
Warmly,
Andrea
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Your Message is the Medium....
It's amazing when I experience my son say something in a tone that I feel is not nice. I know how I feel when I hear it and then I realize - this is learned. He heard it right here! Oh my gosh! It made me think that at times I may get frustrated and show this in my tone with my son, but may be able to refrain in other circumstances. Just because kids are kids does not mean they need to be spoken to in a tone that isn't nice. (Unless the situation warrants voicing frustration or danger or the like - but respectfully. Let's face it, we are human and get frustrated).
I recall in a training, discussing that our face is not our own. It's what we project to everyone else. Despite our lack of awareness, it is saying everything we are not verbalizing and further explaining what we are. We may want to verbally convey genuineness but when our face and our bodies don't match, the message it's skewed.
This is a puzzle in relationships. We have to start to train ourselves to decode the meta messages (tone, facial expressions, body language). What is it that the other party really means? How can I convey what I'd like to say truthfully, gracefully and respectfully?
We can start with awareness. My son is like a little mirror and if he's speaking in a certain way he's heard it at home or somewhere. He reminds me that my words and behavior have to match and be respectful (- a pet peeve of mine as a therapist but how could I drop the ball with my son? Hmmmmm.....).
Being mindful that 90 percent of communication lies in what we don't say is a huge lesson in cultivating awareness. We need to train our bodies and our speech to be seamless so there is no room for misinterpretation. We also have to learn to speak up and ask questions if we are not sure about what was intended. Remember in school when the teacher said "there is no such thing as a dumb question"? The same applies here. If you need clarification in relationships, at work or in any circumstance, ask respectfully conveying that true understanding is your goal.
You'll be amazed at how smooth things can actually be:-)
Have a great week!
Warmly,
-Andrea
I recall in a training, discussing that our face is not our own. It's what we project to everyone else. Despite our lack of awareness, it is saying everything we are not verbalizing and further explaining what we are. We may want to verbally convey genuineness but when our face and our bodies don't match, the message it's skewed.
This is a puzzle in relationships. We have to start to train ourselves to decode the meta messages (tone, facial expressions, body language). What is it that the other party really means? How can I convey what I'd like to say truthfully, gracefully and respectfully?
We can start with awareness. My son is like a little mirror and if he's speaking in a certain way he's heard it at home or somewhere. He reminds me that my words and behavior have to match and be respectful (- a pet peeve of mine as a therapist but how could I drop the ball with my son? Hmmmmm.....).
Being mindful that 90 percent of communication lies in what we don't say is a huge lesson in cultivating awareness. We need to train our bodies and our speech to be seamless so there is no room for misinterpretation. We also have to learn to speak up and ask questions if we are not sure about what was intended. Remember in school when the teacher said "there is no such thing as a dumb question"? The same applies here. If you need clarification in relationships, at work or in any circumstance, ask respectfully conveying that true understanding is your goal.
You'll be amazed at how smooth things can actually be:-)
Have a great week!
Warmly,
-Andrea
Monday, October 4, 2010
Authenticity
We travel an amazing journey as we progress in our lives. We go from total dependence on our parents, to some connecting with our peers to advancing our academics and at the same time our personality and our talents come into bloom. If you ever watch kids they can go about things with wreckless abandon and have the courage to go to school with five different colors, none of which match, and shoes of even a different color and they step inside completely confident with what they've picked out to wear for the day. They don't yet get caught up in what other people think. They just are.
It's sad to think that we spend our whole lives trying to get back to the way we start out - just being ourselves. As we grow and mature we start to squash part of ourselves in order to fit in or to conform. We want so much to belong. We become less honest with ourselves and with others and soon we are keeping secrets and only revealing tidbits of ourselves to people instead of allowing them to know our whole selves. It becomes exhausting trying to manage who knows what part of us and with whom we can let our guard down.
When we're truly integrated with ourselves, we are not afraid for anyone to know us totally, much luck children let it all hang out. Isn't is amazing to think that we have this knowledge as kids but we spend a lifetime trying to learn it as we grow? We all have challenging stages to endure but in the long run, if we have open hearts and minds we'll be able to be honest with ourselves and anyone who crosses our path.
This week I am giving you permission to let go of the secrets. Be yourself and take the risk. The truth is if what you're hiding from someone is something that they can't accept about you then the relationship wasn't really a relationship anyway. Seek truly authentic relationships and then you'll discover what you've been missing all along.
Stop by for a dose of courage of you need to this week!
Warmly,
Andrea
It's sad to think that we spend our whole lives trying to get back to the way we start out - just being ourselves. As we grow and mature we start to squash part of ourselves in order to fit in or to conform. We want so much to belong. We become less honest with ourselves and with others and soon we are keeping secrets and only revealing tidbits of ourselves to people instead of allowing them to know our whole selves. It becomes exhausting trying to manage who knows what part of us and with whom we can let our guard down.
When we're truly integrated with ourselves, we are not afraid for anyone to know us totally, much luck children let it all hang out. Isn't is amazing to think that we have this knowledge as kids but we spend a lifetime trying to learn it as we grow? We all have challenging stages to endure but in the long run, if we have open hearts and minds we'll be able to be honest with ourselves and anyone who crosses our path.
This week I am giving you permission to let go of the secrets. Be yourself and take the risk. The truth is if what you're hiding from someone is something that they can't accept about you then the relationship wasn't really a relationship anyway. Seek truly authentic relationships and then you'll discover what you've been missing all along.
Stop by for a dose of courage of you need to this week!
Warmly,
Andrea
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